glacked
August 2nd, 2004, 13:50
I found this on another forum I rifle though during the day. Not only is it a good story, but this guy has teh crownvic sounds to a "T".
Let me know if the cop stuff starts bothering you guys. I hate keeping the good one's to myself, but I can, if needed.
Ridealong decorated my car
It's official. I have made a ridealong barf.
"Can I ask…" the guy in the passenger seat piped up.
"Good gravy, not another damn question", I thought, forcing a polite smile. "Sure, what's up?" In three past three hours, I had endured the second coming of the Spanish Inquisition, questions from every angle - radio signals, legal precedents, social theories, phyto-pathology (my bad for bringing up by college training in botany).
"So, bring me two pina coladaaaaaas…I want one for each hand…." Garth Brooks warbled in the cold distance of the dashboard as I reached and flicked the stereo down a little so I could hear him better.
"What happens if someone…"
He never finished, suddenly interrupted by the dispatcher. Whatever this guys' faults, I thought, at least he knows I need to hear the radio and zips it when something comes across the air.
"Attention all units. Shots fired, man down…" The location was drowned out as I threw the Crown Vic in a lurch, pulling off a tight six-point turn to get around a parked truck from where we had been sitting on the roadside running radar. The transmission howled, begging for mercy from my lead-footedness.
The night rocked with urban cacophony. Flick. Lights on. Twist. Siren on. I cringed, waiting for the transmission to slip as it hit fourth gear. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon dammit, THUNK!, ahhh, there we go…
I flipped the radio a little louder so I could hear it over the siren, and started back into narrating what we were doing, forcing myself to avoid what a friend once called, "the you dumbass" monotone.
"OK, we have about ten blocks to go, then it'll be somewhere up there on the left. When we get there, it might be nothing, might be something hot, so heads up…"
I looked over to the right, hoping that the oncoming headlights wouldn't get any bigger until I cleared the intersection. Light glinted off my passenger's face, which was rapidly turning a pasty white.
"Can we pull over?"
"Yeah, sure, as soon as we get there, we'll stop. Not to worry, I'm not going to drive like this all night hahahaha… Soon as we see what's up on this call, I need a break anyways."
"No, like now?", came meekly from the other side, twinged with a nauseous urgency.
Now, really, "now" is kind of relative. "Now" as in sometime in the next ten minutes, or "Now" as is immediately? I smiled at the contrast, wondered which one he meant, and jammed my Pepsi bottle into the door panel.
"I'm uhh, umm, you knowwww…" He trailed off. In the distance, I heard the dull monotone of Apollo Mission Control..."Houston, we have ignition and full gastric expulsion in ten...nine...eight..."
My revery again was broken by the radio. "Nothing showing, other units can slow it down", a co-worker's tired voice crackled across the speaker, making the decision for me.
SCREEEEEEECH THUMP THUMP. I eased the car gently to the curb. Gently as in 80 to a standstill in thirty feet, the screaming brakes helped by a curb and both feet on the pedal, not to mention an urgency I hadn't felt since the last time I made the mistake of eating Mexican food at work. Mission command interrupted my thoughts again.
"…three….two….one…"
"Umm, dispatch, we're in the area, but we're going to be held up a little…"
"BLEEEAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!"
I cringed, and thought that if they ever ran a concrete subway train through a swimming pool filled with jello, this is what it would sound like.
"Dude, you OK?"
"Yeah, sure, I'll be..BLEAAAAGGGGGG HACK HACK…"
"I've got some napkins in here somewhere… Can you not splatter the car, if you don't mind?"
Let me know if the cop stuff starts bothering you guys. I hate keeping the good one's to myself, but I can, if needed.
Ridealong decorated my car
It's official. I have made a ridealong barf.
"Can I ask…" the guy in the passenger seat piped up.
"Good gravy, not another damn question", I thought, forcing a polite smile. "Sure, what's up?" In three past three hours, I had endured the second coming of the Spanish Inquisition, questions from every angle - radio signals, legal precedents, social theories, phyto-pathology (my bad for bringing up by college training in botany).
"So, bring me two pina coladaaaaaas…I want one for each hand…." Garth Brooks warbled in the cold distance of the dashboard as I reached and flicked the stereo down a little so I could hear him better.
"What happens if someone…"
He never finished, suddenly interrupted by the dispatcher. Whatever this guys' faults, I thought, at least he knows I need to hear the radio and zips it when something comes across the air.
"Attention all units. Shots fired, man down…" The location was drowned out as I threw the Crown Vic in a lurch, pulling off a tight six-point turn to get around a parked truck from where we had been sitting on the roadside running radar. The transmission howled, begging for mercy from my lead-footedness.
The night rocked with urban cacophony. Flick. Lights on. Twist. Siren on. I cringed, waiting for the transmission to slip as it hit fourth gear. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon dammit, THUNK!, ahhh, there we go…
I flipped the radio a little louder so I could hear it over the siren, and started back into narrating what we were doing, forcing myself to avoid what a friend once called, "the you dumbass" monotone.
"OK, we have about ten blocks to go, then it'll be somewhere up there on the left. When we get there, it might be nothing, might be something hot, so heads up…"
I looked over to the right, hoping that the oncoming headlights wouldn't get any bigger until I cleared the intersection. Light glinted off my passenger's face, which was rapidly turning a pasty white.
"Can we pull over?"
"Yeah, sure, as soon as we get there, we'll stop. Not to worry, I'm not going to drive like this all night hahahaha… Soon as we see what's up on this call, I need a break anyways."
"No, like now?", came meekly from the other side, twinged with a nauseous urgency.
Now, really, "now" is kind of relative. "Now" as in sometime in the next ten minutes, or "Now" as is immediately? I smiled at the contrast, wondered which one he meant, and jammed my Pepsi bottle into the door panel.
"I'm uhh, umm, you knowwww…" He trailed off. In the distance, I heard the dull monotone of Apollo Mission Control..."Houston, we have ignition and full gastric expulsion in ten...nine...eight..."
My revery again was broken by the radio. "Nothing showing, other units can slow it down", a co-worker's tired voice crackled across the speaker, making the decision for me.
SCREEEEEEECH THUMP THUMP. I eased the car gently to the curb. Gently as in 80 to a standstill in thirty feet, the screaming brakes helped by a curb and both feet on the pedal, not to mention an urgency I hadn't felt since the last time I made the mistake of eating Mexican food at work. Mission command interrupted my thoughts again.
"…three….two….one…"
"Umm, dispatch, we're in the area, but we're going to be held up a little…"
"BLEEEAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!"
I cringed, and thought that if they ever ran a concrete subway train through a swimming pool filled with jello, this is what it would sound like.
"Dude, you OK?"
"Yeah, sure, I'll be..BLEAAAAGGGGGG HACK HACK…"
"I've got some napkins in here somewhere… Can you not splatter the car, if you don't mind?"